Trilogy
by Xanderrocksthehouse
Summary: This story is in 3 parts.  I hate reading a story and the story isn't finished so I never publish till it's done so here is part one. Part 2 and 3 will come as I finish each. Retelling of Xander's wedding and the reaction Buffy in the magic box that day.


"I'm gonna marry that girl." Buffy looked on at Xander shocked.

"What? She's fifteen and my sister, so don't ev-" Buffy suddenly realized it wasn't Dawn Xander was talking about. "Oh"

"Hey everybody." He stood up and took a breath. Can I, um uh …. There's something Anya and I want to tell you." With that he got up walking over to her putting his arm around her. Anya looked to him for approval.

"Now?" He nodded.

"Now." He took a breath then looked at his friends "We're getting married."

Dawn smiled happy for her friends "Oh my god." Tara stepped up wanting to be the first to say it.

"Congratulations." Willow couldn't believe it. Her oldest friend just made this life-changing announcement.

"That… that's … wow." Xander couldn't help but smile at her reaction.

"That's a big wow." Anya just looked at him with such love and adoration.

"I thought you were waiting for the right time" He just smiled at her.

"I did." Across the room Buffy whispered to her watcher, teacher and confidant.

"Did you know about this?"

"No unless I blocked it from my memory." As per usual Giles he took of his glasses wiping them off. "Much as I will the vigorous use of Xander's tongue."

"Is that why you're always cleaning your glasses? So you don't have to see the things we do?"

"Tell no one." With that he put them back on. Buffy looked on at the couple kissing. She could feel something stirring inside of her.

"Giles this is…we have to do something."

It had been days since the announcement Xander and Anya had made in the magic box but it kept playing over and over again inside Buffy's mind. Why was it that with everyone around she was the only one who felt like it was wrong? She sat on the couch thinking when she heard footsteps behind her. She looked up the stairs to see Giles coming down with a book in his hand.

"Good morning Buffy." She sprang to her feet up following him in to the kitchen.

"I'm glad you are up before everyone else. I wanted to talk to you." Giles went to the cabinet taking out a box of tea starting a pot of water to brew.

"Is this slayer related?"

"Not really. It's about" She sighed "We started to talk in the magic box the other day about Xander and Anya the whole engagement thing. But there wasn't really the opportunity."

"Oh right." He nodded thinking back. "So what are you thinking? I mean is this about the wedding gift cause if you'd like maybe we could purchase a gift together."

"Gift? What? No. We have to find a way to stop this."

"Stop it? Why would we stop it?"

"Because Xander is our friend and when a friend is about to make a huge mistake you don't just let it come to pass. You do what ever is needed to stop it."

"Don't you think you might be over reacting a tad? I mean granted Xander and Anya aren't Prince Charming and Cinderella but they do love each other and have managed to survive and find happiness on the hell mouth of all places. That has to count for something."

"She's an ex demon Giles. Did you forget the whole scorned men thing. The first time Xander forgets to take out the trash she is going to turn him in to a squirrel."

"Buffy now you are being overly dramatic. They've been together for years and you've never objected. You never said thing one before this. Of all the times you could why now. If you didn't like them being together now doesn't seem the time for you to say something."

"I always thought Anya was a phase. You know something he would work on and past. An itch he needed to scratch. I can see now though that the itch has become an infection."

"And we are what? Team Penicillin."

"Look Xander respects you. Why don't you sit him down and tell him that you think this marriage thing is a bad idea and that maybe he should reconsider."

""Maybe you should look to yourself for the answer?"

"What answer would that be?"

"Just putting it out there so don't hit me for suggesting it. Maybe you are jealous."

"I'm jealous? You think I want to be married to Xander?" Giles could help but laugh at her statement.

"God no. I But you could be jealous of the situation. Anya is getting married. She is moving forward in her life and you are still here in the same place."

"You are wrong. Now are you going to help me or now?" He put his hands up stepping away.

"That would be a not. Xander is a grown man and I want nothing to do with this situation."

"He needs us Giles."

"Have you given any thought to what this is going to do to him I mean you barge in there and tell him that he can't marry her he's going to hate you. She will too. It will only give them a common enemy to unite around and draw them closer." Buffy had a look of worry on her face. She hated to admit it but Giles made a point.

"You are right."

"Did you just say I was right? I don't think I've ever heard those words. At least not from you."

"Listen I want to grab some donuts but I'll meet you at the magic box." He could see the look on Buffy's like she was trying to think up a plan.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah never better." With that she walked out the door and down the street thinking. Xander was her best friend and she didn't want to risk anything that might anger him, at least not at her. She needed Xander to see what was she saw,

Anya's flaws were obvious, Xander was too close to he situation to really see it though A few minutes later she wandered in to the coffee shop grabbing a donut and coffee sitting at a table. Two refills later and she still was where she started, She didn't know how to tell Xander, She looked at her watch and headed over to the magic box. As she walked in she called out "Giles."

"Nope. No Giles today." Anya came out perky and smiling. It made Buffy want to wretch,

"Oh well I guess I'll come back later."

"No please stay. I wanted to talk to you."

"About what?"

"The wedding. See the thing is I kind of wanted to wait till we could be alone so I could talk to you about this." Buffy crossed her arms. She was waiting for the other shoe to drop not sure what it was Anya wanted.

"Buffy see I don't have a whole lot of friends. I mean there is Tara and Willow your sister and you. Of course I have Halfreck but she hates Xander so I couldn't really ask her."

"Ask her what?"

"I was hoping you would be my Maid of Honor." Buffy's brow furrowed for a second ready to rip in to her then she stopped. She smiled an evil wicked smile. It was like that scene in the Grinch when he first comes up with the idea to steal Christmas.

"Maid of Honor. That is wonderful. I feel so privileged, that you want to share your special day with me Anya This means a lot."

"Well it's not all privilege and special ness. There is a lot of work to be done and you are after all a stocky girl of great strength you can be of good service."

"Consider me your humble servant." With that the bell to the front door rang as a customer walked in. Anya smiled at him.

"Welcome to the magic box." She went about helping the customer. Buffy had found a way to the table and sat there thinking. She had found her way. She was going undercover and she would show Xander once and for all the true face of Anya.

Chapeter 2

Eyes Wide Open

Buffy had been going over her plan in her head. Step one of the plan was plant the seeds and let them grown. Fortunately f or her it was a Tuesday night. That meant inventory at the magic box. Xander would chew off his own leg to free himself from the hell he called inventory, as she walked in to the magic box the familiar ring of the bell from the door rang out. Anya didn't look up from the counter just counting money at the register, "Sorry we are closed."

"Yeah I know." She looked up at Buffy Willow was in the back surrounded by books while Xander was sitting on the counter reading a comic "Shouldn't you be out on patrol?" She smiled at Anya's question.

"I'm on my way to patrol but I figured I'd see if anyone wanted to tag along. I wouldn't mind some company for the night," Willow looked up from her book,

"Sorry Buff but professor Crandall is busting heads on midterms and I have to know all bout the wonder that is the super ego."

"That's okay Will. I know you have to do the brain thing. What about you Xand?" He looked up from his comic smiling.

"It has been a while since we've done a patrol together."

"That's the spirit." Any a looked at him hurt and angry,

"You were going to help me do the inventory tonight."

"Anya I love you but I will claw out my own eyes if you force me to sit around while you look over your books."

"Fine but you owe me" He smiled at her and ran behind the counter. He kissed her cheek.

"Let's go Bufferino." She picked up the weapons bag off the floor and Xander followed her out the front door..

"You know this is nice. We haven't done this in forever."

"I feel like I owe you big time. You got me out of inventory."

""If I'm completely honest I kind of planned it that way." Fortunately for them Westwood Cemetery was only a few blocks from the magic box. So it didn't take the long to arrive.

"So what did you bring me?" Buffy set the duffel bags down and on a bench and opened it pulling out a small ivory handled Battle-ax handing it to Xander.

"For you."

"My favorite. You know just what I like."

"And for me." She pulled out a simple stake then stashed the bag under the bench.

"So any word of anything dangerous or is this a routine night."

"I haven't heard anything. It's been kind of quiet lately which is never a good sign.

"Who knows? Maybe things are quiet just cause you are that good at your job." Buffy smiled at him as they started walking through the graveyard.

She laughed then looked at him. "I got to be honest Xander I am going to miss this."

"What do you mean miss it? Are you going to stop patrolling?"

"Not the patrol. I mean this, us. The whole hanging out and just you know"

"Okay again I'm confused. Are you going to stop hanging out with me?"

"I just mean you are getting married."

"So?"

"Well Xander things change. Priorities shift when you get married. It's not your fault. I mean they need to change."

"Nothing is going to change Buffy."

"You can't promise that."

"Yes I can."

"Xander you really really can't"

"Buffy why are you saying this? What do you thinks going to happen. I say I do and bam I'm gone?"

"No but some day you'll have a house in the suburbs and maybe kids. You'll have a family and."

"Listen to me Buffy and really really listen. I have a family. The best family I could ever ask for."

"I know you feel that way but when Anya…."

"Anya knows the situation. She knows how important my family is to me"

"That's just it Xander. We aren't family." He laughed at her and shook his head.

"If we aren't a family Buffy then tell me who is my family. Those two drunks who I shared a house with for the first 20 years of my life." He shook his head "No thank you. If I have to claim them as my family I would rather be adopted."

Then he stepped in front of her blocking her path. He locked his eyes with her and wanted her to know how serious he was. "Look at me and hear me when I say this, I don't care what blood says Dawn, Willow, Giles and you, you guys are the most important people in my life. More then that, you should know." He stopped and shook his head.

"What?"

"You'll laugh." He sighed shaking his head debating if he should tell her.

"Come on out with it."

"Okay but if you laugh at me I'll never share with you again."

She held her hand over her heard "Cross my heart" Xander sighed and stepped out of her way and back to her side as they started walking again.

"A long time ago. I guess it kind of started our senior year in High School. I remember your dad got those tickets to the Figuring Skating thing for you. Then he kind of blew you off."

"What does my dad have to do with any of this?"

"Then Angel left for LA. Then Riley left you. Shortly after that Giles decided it was time to go back home to England."

"Is this supposed to be cheering me up cause If so you kind of suck."

"There was this point I hit that I realized you should hate all men. I mean I wouldn't' blame you if you did. They all leave. You are so awesome and so amazing and the truth is you deserve better." So a while back I made this silent pact with myself."

"What kind of pact?"

"I want you to have one man that was always going to be there, one guy who was always going to be there good or bad. I decided that I was going to be that guy, So the truth is Summers I'm in your life good or bad. Like me or hate me you aren't getting rid of me even with a crow bar"

Buffy listened to Xander's words and her jaw trembled in emotion. She was fighting back the tears and grabbed Xander in a hug. She closed her eyes and buried her face in his chest hugging him. As she held on to him her mind raced back to all the things Xander had done. Things she had her eyes closed to till now. It was as clear as the nose on her face and now and unable to avoid it anymore. Xander squealed in slight pain as Buffy held him tight. As she heard the squeal she quickly let go.

"I'm sorry Xander it's just." Tear trails were now present on her face. "I think that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. I never knew that you" Xander pointed over her shoulder.

"Vampires."

"What." She turned around "Oh damn." She ran after them quickly. Neither of them were much of a challenge. One was fat and slow. She caught up to him easily and dusted him with practically no effort. Xander was behind her but not nearly as fast.

The other vamp was in better shape but was a klutz. As he ran he tripped over his own feet. He turned over just in time to see the stake flying in to his chest. Xander ran up to her catching his breath.

"Well I was going to offer you a hand but looks like you pretty much handled it."

"Those 2 weren't really much of a challenge. They are pathetic really. Only thing they are good at killing is an emotional moment."

"Come on Summer's. Some where out there is Chocolate mint iced coffee with our names on it" Buffy smiled hear her favorite word.

"See. That is what I like so much about you. You get me. Chocolate and Caffeine, Xander Harris you are a man ahead of your time."

Half an hour later they were coming out of the espresso pump carrying their chocolate caffeinated concoctions.

"So Xander now that the patrol part of the evening is done I was thinking if you wanted you could come over and watch some bad late night movies."

"Not going to lie that sounds like fun but the magic box has been closed a while now and Anya is most likely finishing up with inventory. I don't want her walking home alone." Buffy made a face a little jealous but hid it well from Xander.

"Well I guess Ill see you later then" Buffy moved to Xander hugging him. She then watched Xander turn around and walk the other direction towards the magic box. She kept her eyes on him until he was out of sight.

As she walked home Xander's words rang through out her ears. He was right when every man had failed her he was there. When Angel left he was there. When Riley left he was there. When her own father decided that she wasn't good enough Xander was there, In a world where being a slayer meant you were not able to count on anything she has her sure thing in Xander Harris.

As she walked down the street and to her house it was clear from the look on her face it was clear the wheels were turning faster then usual. When she arrived at her house she wasn't ready to go inside. She sat on the stoop.

Before tonight her plan was simple Her motive was an easy one. She thought what she was doing was for Xander. Anya was a cruel cold woman and by sabotaging the wedding she was doing him a favor.

Giles laughed at first, The concept of her being jealous. The concept of her ever wanting to be with Xander Harris was insane. Here it was though right in front of her face. Now it wasn't so clear. If she continued this path or sabotage she had to ask herself was she doing it for herself or for Xander,

Chaptar 3

Slaying your inner demons

Buffy sat at the table inside the magic box helping Anya look through different bridal magazines, It was a slow day at the store and they were the only one's in the store.

"You know Anya I don't give compliments often but."

"You've never given me one."

"Anyways I wanted to tell you that I'm proud of you?"

"Proud of me? What did I do?"

"Well it's just I think of where you started off and where you are and the truth is you have come a long way,"

Anya had a puzzled look on her face "Oh well thank you I guess."

"Just think of where you'll be in a year."

"Right. A year. Wait where will I be in a year?"

"Well you are married. Most people after a wedding do the whole children thing. Not that you need to feel rushed or anything, I mean you are still young and have plenty of time." Anya had a look on her face. Buffy could tell her words were sinking in.

""No I remember that game Xander and I played"

"Game?"

"Yeah first you get the car then you get the house then you get the kids."

"You mean the game of life."

"Yes. We have the car and we have the house but we have no children." She shook her head "Well I need to get on this right away." Just then the bell rang out as Xander came through the front door. He smiled at the two of them.

"Hey there are my 2 favorite girls." Buffy smiled at Xander.

"How was work?" Before he could respond Anya popped up and looked at Xander

:"We need to have a baby. SOON."

Xander's throat suddenly went dry He was confused and shocked by her randomness. "Huh. What I repeat Huh?

"I am mortal now. Add to that we are behind. We need kids I think and a dog,"

"Anya we can talk about this later."

"Of course not right now. I mean no one wants to see a big disgusting fat woman in a wedding dress but I'm thinking after we need to get right on this."

"Anya we can talk about it later."  
"Xander what is there to talk about? It's a win win situation you get the the sex from making the kid."

"Anya this isn't a joke it's not something to be taken lightly."

"Oh come on how hard can it be. A baby is what the size of a bread box. We got room for that." Xander had a look of frustration and anger on his face. Something was clearly bothering him.

"I don't want to talk about this Anya." He turned around and stormed back out the front door with out saying anything else. Anya rolled her eyes at him.

"I swear sometimes I just don't understand men." Buffy felt a pang of guilt shoot through her watching Xander's reaction. The plan had worked sort of. It ended up hurting her friend though. She stood up.

"I think I'm going to go after him and find out what's bothering him"

"But we were going to look at more dresses."

"Yeah I'll be back." She ran out the front door looking around, She saw Xander's car just pulling out, She ran over to it opening the door

"Buffy I just need to get some air."

"Think there is enough air out there for both of us?"

"Get in." She got in to the car and buckled up the seat belt.

"Want to talk about what happened in there?" Xander pulled his car out of the spot and in to the street starting to drive.

"I just wasn't expecting that today. Then the way she sprung it on me."

"It's more then that Xander. Tell me what's wrong. I can always tell when something is bothering you." He took in a deep breath and sighed wanting to choose his words.

"Buffy I'm not anti kid. It's just that. We are products of our environment. I think back to my childhood."

"Xander don't be silly. You could never be your father."

"I know that's the logical thing to say. It's smart and it makes sense but I close my eyes and I see all the horrible things they did to me. No kid deserves that."

"I know you Xander. I know what you are capable of and I know that you'd be a great father."

"You don't know that for sure."

"Yes I do, I've seen the way you protect the people you care about. You do it with all of your heart, " He smiled at her comment and he could feel a little pride swell up in his chest.

"Well I guess the other side to this is Anya do you think she'd be a good mom."

"Oh no. I am not going there." Xander laughed at her response

"Well I think your non answer is an answer in itself."

"I think that you are a better judge of character for her then I am and I have no place answering that question."

"Okay I'll let you weasel out of that one with a subject change. I was going to come over and fix the window that demon wrecked."

"That sounds great." She made a face "Xander I don't really have any money. I can't even afford the glass" He shook his head.

"Don't worry about it. I already picked up the glass."

"Xander I can't ask you to do that."

"You didn't ask. I just am doing it. What else are your options? Leave you with a huge gaping hole in your living room. Besides I owe you."

"How do you owe me?"

"That whole stuff you said about me being a dad. You picked me up when I was down," '

"Please you have made a career our of picking me up."

"Not really a contest."

"Okay well how about a compromise? I can't pay you in money but I'll make dinner."

"You aren't going to make that Tuna Noodle Bake again are you cause I don't know if I got it in me to try it again."

"It wasn't that bad."

"Buffy you topped it with fruit loops."

"It called for a crunchy topping and I was out of potato chips."

"Kill that recipe Buffy. Kill it. Bury it and pray the law never finds you."

"Fine I'll make Lasagna I make good lasagna."

"No cereal in it is there?"

Xander swung by his house picking up his tools and the new window. As he was grabbing his things he called leaving a message with Anya. He told her that Buffy was making them dinner tonight and she should come over after getting off of work.

When Buffy and Xander arrived at her house Buffy went right for the kitchen starting dinner and Xander started working on the window. He was pulling out the old wood that was damaged. 10 minutes in to working he unbuttons his shirt pulling it off and working in his tank top underneath.

Xander was never really soft but construction had been good for him. His muscles were much more defined and his body had a nice tan to it. He called out to her while he worked.

"Think you could get me a glass of water."

"Heat finally getting to you?" She walked in to the living room and saw Xander Maybe it was the light hitting him the right way. Maybe it was this new epiphany she was having towards her friend. Maybe her eyes were open for the first time. She wasn't sure what it was but he looked good. Her mind and eyes wandered to his muscles.

"So hot." Xander turned around hearing her say something.

"W'hat Buff?"

"Oh I was just saying it's so hot today." He stepped to her "Water?"

"Right. Uhm." She quickly held up the glass. "Here:" Xander took the glass from her smiling.

"Thanks.' He drank the water gulping it down. He backed up looking at the window that was close to finished. "Well I'm almost done."

"You do good work." Dawn came in the front door a book bag over her shoulder. She stopped when she saw Xander.

"Oh Hey Xander."

"Dawn patrol. How was school"

"Stupid, embarrassing and childish." He just nodded hearing what she said.

"Yep that sounds about right."

"Got to tell you Xander you look nice. Way to rock that tank top."

"Well I was going to put together a sexy construction worker calendar."

"Well count me in for one." Buffy rolled her eyes at her little sister flirting with Xander.

"Dawn we should let him get back to work. You can help me with dinner."

"Oh God we aren't having that Fruit loops and Tuna thing again are we?"

"Kitchen now." Dawn smiled following Buffy in, She whispered to her sister.

"Yeah Xander is looking good."

"Really I didn't notice.'"

"Yeah that sounds like you." Buffy started making the garlic bread while Dawn sat on the counter.

"What is that supposed to mean."

"Oh nothing. You know it's just you've never really had eyes for Xander." Buffy was hearing Dawn's words but not listening really. In her head she just kept seeing Xander in his tank top and his tanned muscles. A small smile crept on her face as she started imagining all the different ways he could use his tool. When Dawn interrupted her "BUFFY BUFFY BUFFY." She snapped her fingers in front of her face. "Earth to Buffy."

"Oh yeah right. I never really had thoughts like that about Xander."

"Where the hell were you just then?"

"Oh slaying stuff You know demons, monsters, vampires, grrr argh" Buffy heard the front door open and someone walk in. "Is Willow here. I thought she had a late night study session." Just then Anya walked in with a bottle of red wine.

"Hello bridesmaids." Buffy looked at her not sure what she was doing there.

"Anya you are here?"

"Yeah Xander told me you were making dinner so I brought a bottle of wine." Buffy smiled at Anya happy trying to seem happy.

"Great the more the merrier." Xander came in to the kitchen smiling at them.

"Hey the window is done."

"Hey Dawn and Anya why don't you go set the table. The food is just about done."

"I think I'm going to put a shirt on. Something with some sleeves"

Buffy smiled as he went up the stairs to the empty bedroom put on a clean shirt. As the table was set Buffy went to the newly repaired window putting her hand on the new frame smiling. Xander sauntered down the steps seeing her checking out his work.

"What do you think of my work?"

"Amazing Xander. It is better then it ever was."

"That's what I like about carpentry, You can take this thing that was just thrashed beyond belief and bring it back to life." She laughed and smiled shaking her head finding it ironic.

"Those words coming out of you are so poetic."

"Meaning?"

"Just that I remember once upon a time being broken pretty badly and you breathed new life in to me."

"Wouldn't really consider that the same thing." Anya came in interrupting them.

"Hey the foods getting cold and I am hungry." Through out the meal Buffy was only able to have one image in her head. As she sat across the table stealing glances at Xander she remembered seeing his muscles ripple and the way sun had tanned his skin. Dawn waved her hand in front of Buffy who had the goofy expressionless look on her face.

"Earth to Buffy. Hello." Buffy shook her head suddenly realizing.

"What were you saying Dawn?"

"Dishes are you going to help me or what?" Buffy stood dropping her napkin on the table.

"Actually I should probably head out to do patrol." Dawn eyed her suspiciously.

"You always use slaying as an excuse when there is work to be done." Xander just then spoke up.

"I'll make you a deal Dawn. I wash you dry." Anya looked miffed.

":Why do you have to do the house work it's not your house. I want us to go home."

"Anya I will be home after Buffy finishes with patrol. You can wait here with me or I'll meet you there." Like a spoiled child she went to the couch and flopped down not saying anything. Buffy just looked at Xander grateful. She didn't even ask him and here he was staying with Dawn to keep her safe. She smiled at him.

"Thank you Xander."

"Be careful Buff" With that she was out the door and was making a B line to the grave yard. Not just any graveyard though. She had a specific destination in mind. A few minutes later she stood in front of Spike's crypt. She pushed the door open as Spike sprang to his feet quickly and defensively.

"Slayer. What the hell are you doing here?"

"That is the last thing you are going to say Spike. If I hear another peep out of you this ends. This happens completely on my terms. Term one is if you tell anyone about what happens here tonight not only will it never happen again but you will be dust blowing in the wind." She walked past him and to his bed. "Get your clothes off now." Spike's eyes almost popped out of his head hearing this. He opened his mouth ready to ask her if she was for real but then stopped remembering her no talking rule.

He quickly pulled at his shirt ripping it off and sending the buttons flying. His pants were next and he quickly jumped under the sheets. Buffy shook her head. She stood over him having a angry scowl on her face.

"Again if I hear you groan. If I hear one bloody hell out of you I am gone, Are we clear?" Afraid to answer her he just nodded, with that Buffy pulled off her own clothes and got in to the bed next to him.

She forced her eyes shut as she felt him touch her. She didn't want to see him, what she needed him for would make it that much harder if she did look at him.

It might have been Spike's touch but her mind wandered to Xander. A smile crept upon her face.

_"Buffy you have no idea how long I've waited to make love to you." She took his hand holding it. _

_ "How could I have been so stupid not to have seen you?"_

_ "None of that matters anymore Buffy. All that matters is now. You are here with me and I am never leaving your side." Her lips met his in a kiss filled with passion. He wrapped his arms around her as she did to him. She pulled away from his lips for just a second to whisper a single command in to his ear. _

_ "Make love to me Xander" _

Spike looked at her wondering why she wouldn't open her eyes. It didn't matter though, He could see from the smile on her face that she was enjoying what he was doing.

He kept the smiled hearing her groaning and moaning until she finally cried out a name as she climaxed.

"Oh God Xander I Ahhhhhh" Spike heard her loud and clear and his male ego didn't do well with it. He rolled off of her.

"XANDER. What the hell? ARE YOU BLOODY THINKNG OF XANDER?"

Buffy quickly grabbed the sheets covering herself up. She grabbed the sheets and wrapped them around herself long enough to pick up her clothes off the floor

"We're done here Spike." She quickly put on her clothes ignoring he was there,

"Like hell we are you owe me an explanation."

"I owe you nothing." She straightened out her clothes. She didn't want to look like she was having sex. She then turned around and headed toward the door,

"Well maybe I will have a little talk with my good friend Xander. I might talk with Anya too. Maybe we talk. Maybe I share some information." Buffy stopped in her tracks and turned on her heal. She slowly walked over to him.

"Push me Spike. Push me this time and I will sink a stake in your chest so fast that" He just interrupted not believing her.

"Sing a new song slayer. It is sick and it's old." Buffy heard his words and didn't say anything instead she went to the other side of the room and kicked the chair in the corner. Before Spike could react she picked up a piece of the wood and threw it, As it soared through the air it found it's mark right in his chest,

The stake didn't puncture his heart but it was so close he could feel the grain of the wood on his left ventricle. Spike felt it in his chest and fell to his knees clawing at the stake in pain. His hand trembled in pain as he pulled the bloody stake out of his chest dropping it.

It made a bloody splatter as it hit the floor. Buffy ignored his pain stepped over him and walked out of the crypt. Spike pulled him self up feeling the gaping

hole in his chest. He had a fire in his eyes and just watched her as she walked away. Quietly he muttered, "You are going to pay bitch. I will make sure of it."

Chapater 4

I It's now or never

The months leading up to the wedding had become weeks. The weeks had becomes days and the days had become day. Buffy sat at the kitchen table that morning drinking her coffee as Dawn skipped down the steps.

"Morning Buffy?"

"Good morning Dawn.

"Kind of hard to believe that today is the last day Xander can ever call himself a single man." Buffy shook her head not wanting to believe it.

"This is my fault. I should have stopped this long ago. Problem is I never saw Anya as anything more then an itch that needed scratched." Dawn's jaw dropped not believing what her sister was saying.

'"Itch that needs to be scratched? Stopped this a long time ago? Really. Buffy this is wedding. This is a good thing. Where the hell is all of this coming from?"

"Xander is brave and kind and generous. He is everything you could want in a guy. Then you look at Anya. She's greedy and self-centered and the first time Xander forgets to do the dishes she'll dish out vengeance."

"But you agreed to be the bridesmaid. I mean I thought."

"Xander deserves better. He's deserves someone who will love him and protect him. Someone who understands him, someone like."

"I can't believe it. You are in love with Xander"

"Dawn come on don't be." She paused. "I mean it's Xander come you know" She opened her mouth again but she couldn't hold it in anymore "I just"

"You are in love." Willow stepped in the backdoor carrying the same ugly green dress Dawn carried.

"Who is Buffy in love with?"

"Dawn stop."

"She loves Xander." Willow dropped the dress not believing her words.

"WHAT?" Buffy looked at Willow.

"I didn't plan this. It just sort of happened" Dawn sat down across from Buffy looking at her.

"What are you going to do?"

"What do you mean Dawn. Buffy can't do anything it's to late. Xander is being married tomorrow. The ship has all but sailed." Dawn piing ponged right back.

"To be married and married are not the same things, If anything Xander has a right to know all of his options before making such a life altering choice."

"You don't just drop something like this on someone the day before they are to be married it's not fair to him."

"Oh and keeping the truth from" Buffy had enough and finally spoke up.

"ENOUGH." She ran her fingers through her hair thinking. "Okay the truth is I don't know what I should do. Both of your answers seem right and both seem wrong." Willow could tell that the arguing with Dawn wasn't helping. She went to her friend and put her arm around her.

"Buffy I'm sorry I know how hard this has to be for you." She smiled at her friend reassuringly. "You know what's kind of funny, at some point everyone in this kitchen had some kind of feelings toward Xander." Dawn chuckled at the comment

"Hey mine was just a silly girl crush." Buffy shook her head a look of pain behind her eyes.

"I don't know what I am going to do." Willow sat down at the table looking up at her friend,

"What ever choice you make Buffy you have to know that we will support you," Buffy walked over to Willow giving her a hug and Dawn followed joining in. "Good or bad we are here." Just then the front door opened as Xander made his presents known.

"Hello Hello last chance to get a piece of the single Xander Harris." Dawn and Willow picked their dressed up off of the floor. The room was suddenly filled with an awkward silence like they knew a secret. "What's going on?" Dawn snapped back quickly.

"Nothing. Nothing going on," Willow held up her dresses making something up on the fly.

"Yeah just talking about our wonderful new Kermit The Frog green dresses." Xander looked at them knowing something else was going on. He looked at each of them.

"You ever get the feeling like everyone knows something that you don't" Willow pulled Dawn through the doorway wanting to give Buffy the privacy that she might need.

"Yeah well Dawn needs help on her algebra." Dawn looked confused.

"I do? I mean I do. You know me and number and co signs and what not." Xander watched as they quickly went up the stairs leaving Buffy there with him.

"You ever get the feeling Buffy that everyone knows something that you don't" Buffy stood up and took a deep breath.

"Xander do you got a few minutes."

"For you I got all the time in the world."

"I need to ask you something. It's important so no jokes please."

"What's going on Buffy?"

"What if there was this thing that you didn't know. Once you know it you can't take it back. It could be good or it could be bad."

"If I don't know is this one of those end of the world scenarios."

"No. It's just one of those situations where if you don't then everything stays the same. If you are happy with the path you are on then not knowing would be better."

"Well now I'm curious and" Buffy shook her head interrupting him.

"You can't let curiosity lead you on this one. This is bigger then curiosity." Xander sighed and didn't say anything instead he just sat down at the table and began to think about the question at hand.

"I think I'd still want to know."

"Are you sure?"

"I have always tried to live my life with no regret. Simple idea that says I won't let fear determine who I am." Buffy sighed she looked nervous. A part of her hoped he wouldn't want to know then he wouldn't have to tell her anything.

"Okay I need you to sit there and hear what I say. Don't say anything cause once I start I need to get this out."

"Go ahead Buff."

"Okay I didn't plan on this happening but it did. Months ago when I heard you were marrying Anya this bright light started flashing in my head. I hated the fact that you were marrying her. I think of Anya as everything you aren't. You are so generous and she's greedy. Where you are kind she is just blunt and rude." Xander started to open his mouth but she stopped him. "Please just listen"

She put her hands behind her back and started pacing. "I thought that I felt this way towards her cause I was protecting you. The thing is though it made me reflect on my feelings. My real feelings and why I was so angry you were marrying her. It was so obvious but I didn't want to see it."

She exhaled a deep breath and sat down across from Xander. "I was jealous." Xander's jaw dropped and he looked at her like this was some punch line any second he was waiting to hear.

"Buffy what are you saying."

"You probably think that this is me wanting what I can't have. I wouldn't blame you if you did. The thing is though I've had time to think and I know now. I know that."

"You know what?"

The words coming out of here mouth were as terrifying as any demon she'd ever fought. "I know that I'm in love with you."

Xander sprang up on his feet looking a little angry. "Jesus Buffy. Really today? Today of all days this is the day you decide to lay this on me."

"Xander I know the timing is bad."

He laughed a combination of bitter and frustration. "That is the understatement of the year. I am being married tomorrow Buffy. I'm not even sure what to say here."

At this point tears were chasing down Buffy's cheeks. "I'm sorry Xander I knew I should have just kept quiet."

"No you don't get to do this. You don't get to stand and there cry and make me feel like I'm the one that's done something wrong." Xander took in a deep breath. "Okay I just need to take a minute to think."

"Think about what?"

"Here's what's going to happen. You need to show up tomorrow to the wedding and when I see you we'll pretend today never happened."

"You want to go back You want to act like this conversation doesn't' exist."

"It's the smart thing to do." To Buffy it felt like she had been kicked in the gut. She had told him how she felt and he rejected those feeling. She had to put on her strong face.

"No you are right. You are being married. You guests coming and there is the church and reception hall the food. Not to mention that you love Anya. This is" She waited a second a wanting to choose here words precisely. "the smart move."

"Part of that includes my wedding party. I need to know if you can do this. Tomorrow can you stand by my side and act happy as I marry the woman I love?"

What he was asking was beyond difficult. It was beyond painful. There was no amount of punching or kicking, no bandages or wraps This was going to hurt and there was no getting around it She was the slayer and pain wasn't a mystery to her,

She felt like she wanted to puke. Her legs were jelly and her world was spinning but she managed like she always does. She looked up to him. "Yes. I will be there tomorrow. I will stand by your side and I will support you cause that's what we do."

"Buffy I" He wanted to say something but the words were not there. "This is how it has to be." He shook his head and turned around walking out the back door.

Buffy stood there with a blank look on her face. She needed to be strong just a little longer. He couldn't be there when she broke down. So when she head the engine of his car start and pull out of the drive way her legs finally gave way.

The girl who could destroy monsters laid on the kitchen floor her face soaked in tears. For all the time she had saved the world, hers had just ended.

Chapter 5

Get me to the church on time

Willow was helping Anya with her veil as Dawn was stretching out the train. She looked at Willow. "Careful it has to be perfect. I need this to be perfect.. I look perfect right." Willow sighed a little tired of reassuring her. "Yes Anya you look fine." Dawn chimed in trying to make her feel better.

"You are a vision in white." Anya looked at Dawn "Why don't you go check on Xander make sure he is on time and with out any issues." Dawn nodded happy to be able to leave the room. "Oh and find my maid of honor."

Dawn made a face as she walked away from Anya. She knew what she felt wasn't Anya fault but the blame for her sister's pain needed to fall somewhere and she was an easy target. She went across the hall knocking on the door then stepping inside.

She didn't see Xander but did find her sister sitting on a bench her head in her hands and crying. Dawn walked to Buffy putting her arm around her.

"I know this whole thing sucks Buffy. I wish there was something I could do to make your pain go away." Buffy shook her head and wiped her tears.

"It's a wedding Dawn people are supposed to cry."

"I think most people cry cause of happy tears."

"Yeah well fortunately Anya can't tell the difference." She stood up and walked to a mirror to put her make up on again. "I appreciate what you are doing Dawn but I don't need you to check up on me Dawn I'll be fine."

"Actually Anya sent me in. She wanted me to check on Xander."

"He's not here yet." Dawn looked at the clock and sighed "I'll call him on my" Suddenly the doors opened as Xander stepped in. He was wearing his tux and looked ready to get married. He looked at Buffy quickly then at Dawn.

"Hi Dawn."

"You are here. Good. I t didn't want to go back to Anya to tell her you weren't here yet."

"Dawn can I have moment to talk with you sister."

"Sure." She smiled at him "You look nice."

"Thanks Dawn." Dawn closed the doors leaving them alone. For a while an awkward silence sat between them. Buffy turned and looked at him.

"Guess today is it."

"Yeah." He let go of a breath. "Buffy this isn't easy for me. I have to do what is" Buffy just blurted it out with out thinking.

"You lied to me."

"What?"

"You lied. You told me that day on the bench that you'd wait you said you'd wait till I felt something for you. You didn't though. You moved on and now I'm stuck with these feelings."

"You think this is easy for me Buffy. I didn't sleep a wink last night. I just kept going through the conversation we had in my head again and again. I have to face what I feel for you and in turn I have to face what I feel for Anya. Just Monday everything was so clear. I knew the answer and now."

"I'm sorry I complicated things. You were the one who said you wanted to know. You were the one who said you didn't want to live in regret. I don't see why this is so hard for you."

"Maybe because I'm IN LOVE WITH YOU."

"What?"

"There I said it. Okay. I am in love with you"

"Since when?" He went over to the bench Buffy was sitting on and sat down. He sighed a deep breath.

"Since always. I mean yeah there have been other women Cordy and Anya but." He closed his eyes. He knew he shouldn't say it. "You've always had my heart. Just because you rejected me doesn't mean I stopped loving you."

"You never said anything."

"You were my A number One. I never thought I'd have a chance so I settled with something else. I mean I had real feelings for Cordy and I do love Anya but it's always been you" Buffy came over sitting next to him on the tiny bench.

"I know I have the worst timing in the world. I also know it's my fault. I was so blind and couldn't see for so long and now that I can. It's too late."

"It is too late. Today is my wedding. In less then an hour I'm going to be someone's husband." He reached to her taking her hand "But I have one last thing I want to do as a single man. It's kind of a big request and you can say no but I'm still going to ask."

"It's your wedding day I can't deny you anything."

"I shouldn't but I want just one thing. I want just one kiss."

"A kiss?"

"Maybe it will close this for both of us. Maybe I will kiss you and there will be no magical spark. Maybe we'll find that it just doesn't work between us." Buffy tilted her head thinking.

"You know in a weird logical kind of way that kind of makes sense."

"The best that could happen to us is we find there is no chemistry."

"Of course Anya would skin me alive if she knew I was going to kiss another woman just an hour before our wedding."

"Xander I give you my word that what happens in here will forever remain between us." Xander stood up and walked to the center of the room. He closed his eyes thinking about what he was about to do. Years ago he would have given his right arm for this opportunity. Buffy stood up and slowly made her way to the middle of the room with him.

"No regrets. Right."

She nodded. "No regrets." With that Xander pressed his palm to Buffy check and slowly brought his face to hers. She pressed her mouth to his and he kissed her softly. It was warm and wet and inviting. His free arms slinked around her waist holding her as he kissed her. The only reason they pulled away was because they needed air. Buffy's eyes opened and met Xanders.

There were no words. Instead Xander just pulled away and before Buffy could say anything he ran out the door. Buffy stod there her mouth still open and a little glazed far off look in her eyes. When she finally was able to find the words the only ones that could come to her mind were

"WOW."

As Xander ran out the door and out of the hallway he was stopped in his tracks by an old man. The old man grabbed his arm.

"You can't get married today. It's a huge mistake." Xander rolled his eyes at the old man wondering if this day could get any stranger.

"Yeah thanks for the advice, Uncle …. Help me out here."

"Uncle? You don't recognize me, Do you?"

"I'm sorry I don't."

"It sounds crazy I know but." He closed his eyes. "I'm Xander Harris. I'm you."

Chapter 6

Boom goes the dynamite

Anya stood in the mirror straightening her dress as Willow entered. The wedding was being stalled. Tara Willow and Dawn had been running circle around Anya so she wouldn't know that Xander was nowhere to be seen.

Anya had grown impatient though she came out of the room Tara tried to stop her. "Wait uhm the priest isn't here yet."

"This bride waits for no one. If the ministers not here yet, we'll just have to get married with out a minister."

Anya walked past as Dawn blurted out "Nobody knows this but the groom he took off and no one can find him" Anya spun around on her heel.

"WHAT?

"Uhm"

"What do you mean Xander's missing." Uncle Rory stood up smiling.

"Xander isn't missing. It's a joke. Like this one time at one of Carol's wedding. I wore this ape suit." One of the demons stood up agitated.

"Great another Harris family joke." He then looked at Xander's father. "Why don't you have another drink" Tony stood up insulted. He wasn't going to take something like that from something that looked like him.

"Drinking is the only way I can dull the pain of looking at your ugly face." He poked his fingers in to the demon's chest. Just like that the brawl ensued between the Harrises and the demons. Anya paid little attention to the fighting. She only wanted to find Xander.

She pulled Xander's cousin Carol aside and asked her. "Have you seen Xander?"

"I think I saw him go in the trophy room with." She looked around and pointed to the old man "Him." She went to the old man grabbing his arm as she turned him to face her.

"You were talking to Xander right before he left. What did he say to you? What did you say to him?"

"Really doesn't matter now. Does it? It's done"

"What's done? Did you… If you said something to make him leave…"

"You'll what? Haven't changed a bit. Still as vindictive as ever."

"Do I know you?"

"You don't recognize me, Anya? I'm not the man I used to be. I know." Bufffy had grabbed the microphone trying to make peace.

"Guys. Will you break it up?" All the while Anya was just trying to get answers from the old man.

"Xander. Where is he? You tell me old man! You tell me why he left!"

"He left because of you."

"I didn't do anything."

"Oh really? What about this?" The man had suddenly turned in to a huge demon complete with grey skin and yellow scales. The demon then regaled Anya with the tale how she was the victim of her Vengance days..

"You were a… I punished you"

"That's right. Some hussy I'd been taking around summons you, next thing I know I look like this and I'm being tortured in another dimension."

"I forgot."

"Well I didn't" He smacked her across the room flying. Buffy saw Anya fly back and knew it was time she steps in. With all the people fighting she wasn't easy to get too.

"ANYA." Was all she could manage to get out as she tried to work her way to help the bride. The demon looked at Anya loving the pain he had caused her.

"Every day I remembered… and everyday I thought how I would somehow get here, and ruin your life like you ruined mine. It didn't take much either I scared off your fiancé with a couple phony visions." Anya now had a full stream of tears running down her face. She felt weak and barely able to stand.

"Visions of what?"

"Your future. Or his nightmare vision of your future."

"That's it? That's all you did?"

""Yeah, It was easy. Look at that, you're crying. Oh I like that."

"Stop it."

"Oh, cry Anyanka, cry. I love to see you cry. And now I love to see you scream." The demon swiped his claws just catching her arms with the claws. The demon stood over her ready to take another swipe, this one being the fatal blow. Buffy had finally managed to push her way through the crowd and picked up a chair smashing it in to the demons face. The demon fell back but was still close enough to Anya to do some damage.

He grabbed her and held his razor sharp claws to her throat. "Come any closer and I'll kill her." Just then the back door to church flew open. Xander came in looking at the whole scene.

"ANYA!" She turned her head along with the demon seeing Xander walking in.

"XANDER." She cried out for help. Buffy used the distraction to her advantage and kicked the demon in the leg. That gave Anya the opportunity to free herself from his grip. As she broke free she ran over to Xander. "I'm so…. I'm so glad you're here. It was all lies, what he showed you… it wasn't true, he just wanted to break us up."

"It doesn't matter now." To be honest Xander was a little angry. Buffy had just saved her life and Anya was worried about the wedding and not the demon that was fighting with his best friend. Buffy had managed to slip away for a second grabbing the veil that was draped on the bison head.

She wrapped it around the demons throat choking it out till had passed out unconscious. Just then the white heavy white pedestal came crashing down on the demons head. Buffy looked up to see Xander was the one wielding the pedestal.

"It's dead." Buffy nodded smiling at her friend.

"Yep." Just then Tony Harris looked at the demons pissed.

"I'm not paying for it this. YOU Freaks."

"Stop calling us freaks!" Round 2 had started as everyone started yelling and screaming again. This time Anya wasn't going to have it though. She was taking charge.

"That is ENOUGH!" Everyone was suddenly staring at her. "This Wedding will go down now sit in your seats." With that everyone put their asses in their chairs. Anya smiled over at Xander who was still in a state of shock. She walked over to him. "You know it's bad luck for you to see me in my wedding dress."

Xander just stood there not sure what to say She could tell something was bothering him. "Hey. It's okay. It's all over now, he's dead and it was just smoke and mirrors."

"I know."

"So …. We're ready now. Let's get married." She turned to take her place but Xander stopped her.

"I." Anya looked at him confused. "I'm not. I'm not ready. I can't Ahn, I'm sorry."

"But it was." She sighed. "It wasn't real. What he showed you. It wasn't real."

"I know it wasn't real. But it could be." The tears started flowing down Anya's face.

"What was it? Was it about me? Cause he wanted you to hate me Xander."

"It wasn't you. It wasn't you, I was hating." He let got of a breath and shook his head. "I had these thoughts and fears well before this. Maybe we went too fast."

"Look everyone has thoughts. It doesn't' mean that getting married is wrong."

"I know I know"

"Look you're just shaken up, okay? You just calm down and we'll start over okay?" Xander looked at his parents hearing them screaming at each other and he sighed shaking his head.

"We can't start over. If this is a mistake, it's forever and … I don't' want to hurt you. Not that way." Anya's tears now flowed freely down her face. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry."

With that Xander turned around and walked out of the church. Anya stood there feeling numb. Buffy, Tara, Willow and Dawn all stood there not believing the events that just unfolded in front of them.

Buffy sighed feeling conflicted. She wanted the wedding stopped but couldn't help but feel bad for Anya and the pain she was feeling. She sighed thinking of that old saying. "Be careful what you wish for you just might get it."

It had been a week since the wedding. In that time Anya didn't see Xander once. For that matter Bufy, Dawn or Willow hadn't either. Everyone was worried about him but they dealt with it in there own way. Dawn had buried herself in her schoolwork. Willow had taken upon herself to close out all the wedding arrangements. She had returned the gifts, refunded the tickets for the honeymoon and done all the stuff Xander should have done had he been there.

Buffy took to patrolling with a new anger and fury. Vampires of the world beware cause she was pissed and she needed something to take her anger out on. That evening Buffy came in after patrol. Dawn and Willow were still up. Dawn stood up as she heard her sister walk in.

"Hey Buffy how was patrol." Buffy sighed walking to the weapons chest dropping her axe inside.

"Well I'm here so I'd say that's another victory for the slayer right." She sighed and took her coat off. "What are you still doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep." Willow quickly came to Dawn's defense.

"Don't blame her. I promised her I would help her with her algebra homework and I didn't have a chance till an hour ago. We just finished a few minutes ago.

"It's okay really. But you do have school so you should get to bed." Dawn went to her sister and hugged her tightly. She then walked past her and went to her room. Willow followed Dawn's lead standing up and stretching..

"I think I'm going to turn in too."

"Sleep well Will." As she walked past Buffy went to the fridge grabbing bottled water. Slaying Vampires wasn't the only way she was dealing with her worries about Xander. She knew it was anti productive but she had started seeing a certain bleached blonde vampire again.

She twisted the lid off the water and took a drink. She then took her phone and dialed Xander's number. She had been doing it the last few days. She didn't actually expect for him to pick it up but it was more about hearing his voice on his outgoing message.

She knew that Xander would be so pissed off at her if he ever found out that she was letting Spike touch her. It wasn't about sex. It sure as hell wasn't about love. Things had gotten so perpetually screwed up. She swore though she'd give it all up in a second if it meant Xander came back safe.

As she finished the last drop of her water she stood up and walked out of the kitchen and drudged her body up to the bedroom. As she got in to the bed she was out almost instantly. Her last thought that night before passing out was "Good night Xander where ever you are."

Dawn was the first awake that morning. She had school so she didn't' get the luxury of sleeping in. Willow was awake next up. She got up just a little after nine. She grabbed a protein shake out of the fridge and was going to classes at UC Sunnydale. Finally just after 11 am Buffy had woke up and sauntered down the steps.

As she turned the corner in to the kitchen she saw Xander sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal. He was so casual about it. It was like he hadn't even left.

"Hello Buffy."

"XANDER." She looked at him. "Where have you been." He put the spoon down.

"I went an stayed in with a cousin for a few days. I needed to get away from the situation I realized this morning when I woke up that no amount of time is going to make coming back easy."

"So you are home?"

"For good."

"Does Anya know?"

"This was the first place I came. I figured we should talk first."

"I want you to know Xander I support your choice but it was a little perplexing."

"So we are just jumping right in to it?"

"You've been gone a while now and there are a lot of questions. Would you rather we do the small talk thing. How is the weather? Who is this cousin?"

"Okay okay I get it." He stood up. "Perplexed?"

"Xander I get it. I mean it makes sense that you walk away from the wedding. That demon showed you some things that freaked you out. They got in your head and you couldn't marry An" Xander interrupted shaking his head.

He laughed at her. "Buffy I saw through that Demon the first 30 seconds I met him. Hell did you see the guy. He didn't look anything like me. He was fat and did you see that nose."

"So if that old guy wasn't the reason you walked away." She tilted her head confused. "What was?"

"Buffy come on. You know."

"No I don't. Why would I know?" He rolled his eyes.

"Cause it was you. I realized that saying I do to Anya wouldn't fix the problem for anyone. It would be like lying to her. She deserves to have someone who feels like they are the center of her world. She deserves the kind of love that is real. Not just settling for."

"You didn't realize you felt that way till your wedding day?"

"I thought I loved Anya. I thought I couldn't love anything more in this world and I was ready to spend the rest of my life with her." He rubbed his eyes. "Then that kiss happened."

"That shouldn't have happe" He shook his head interrupting her.

"I wouldn't take it back for anything. In that one kiss I realized something. I realized something. I realized I couldn't love Anya the way she deserved. There would always be someone else I would love more. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life Buffy Summers but that kiss wasn't one of them."

"So where does that leave us?"

"I don't know. I know that I want to be with you. I know that I want to give this thing a real shot. I also know that there are to may fresh wounds between Anya and I. I've caused her enough pain and if she saw us together it would just make more."

"That makes sense. I wish we could be together but I understand your logic."

"Whoa whoa whoa. Apply the breaks and check the side mirrors. I want to be with you. I think we have to keep this between us for now though. We give Anya some time to heal and then we start dating out in the open."

"You want to date?"

"I know it's unfair to ask you to wait for me till all of this Anya stuff is over but I can't think of another solution that" Buffy interrupted him.

"No I will wait I promise." He smiled at her and reached taking her fingers holding on to them.

"We have to stick to the story though. If Anya finds out the real reason the wedding didn't go down. Right now I have the old man to blame but if she found out then."

"She'd whig out and go all vengeance demon."

"What happened before the wedding will be our secret."

"I have to say Xander I'm nervous and excited."

"It's a new chapter of our lives."

"Hopefully one we can write together."

"Wouldn't have it any other way."

Epilogue

Anya sat in her apartment. It felt so cold and empty now. The wedding guests were gone mostly. The warmth she once shared with Xander in this place was now gone. Replaced with hurt and pain.

Her face was stained with tears and she felt weak. That just made her angrier at Xander. Once upon a time she was a demon who struck real fear in the heart of men. She was something to be feared. Now though here she was. This pathetic little girl lying on the floor crying was all that was left.

It was another thing she could blame Xander for. He made her feel human again. He made her feel something she knew wasn't real. Instead wiping her eyes constantly from crying she wanted to inflict pain. Real pain. The old Anya would laugh at the girl she was now.

Someone she looked to as a father was once again there for her. Instead of words he offered her a simple handkerchief to wipe her tears. D'Hoffryn knew Anya was in pain. He also knew he could use that pain to his advantage. She simply wiped the tears from her face. He rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you okay?" Anya just shook her head.

"I'm tired of crying. I'm just so tired D'Hoffryn."

"Oh Ahyanka I'm sorry. But you let him domesticate you. When you were a vengeance demon you were at the top of your game. You crushed men like him." He looked in to Anya's eyes for some sign she knew what he was saying. "It's time you get back to what you do best. Don't you think?"

Anya sat there and heard his words. She was sick of the pain sick of the tears and mostly just angry. Angry at the world and her situation but mostly just angry at one person. She wanted Xander Harris to burn for he did to her. Anyone who got in her way would burn along with him. With a small smile on her face D'Hoffryn knew her answer .


End file.
